1.
I've been cum dumpster diving. I got enough semen to inject into totem
pole. Turns out the heads are in different dimensions and they all
don't know it except for the one in the middle who is super
intelligent. The rest are really dumb. More like a todumb pole right?
Now he's my wacky next door neighbor. To him he's blocks away, doors
and doors that I can't see flying above the 8th day in-between Saturday
and Sunday where he lives.
2. What you do, do you do it as an artist, or is it a hobby? If you
don't like that question, what do you have to say about true art (vs.
"entertainment")?
2. Making
coherence and sanity appear in a dream realm, when you wake up the real
killer is at the edge of your bed and your eyes have been removed and
put in a seeing eye dog. Now you have the vision of a dog that is
leading a blind man straight to the foot of your bed. Your skull has
been opened so he can read your mind, the brail in your brain tells him
your deepest secrets and that secret is that you're in a golf cart in a
clit garden and the killer has made you the kind of the garden and the
mayor of flying musical notes coming out of a guitar. Cook those notes
and eat the tunes you grove with your dudes on youtube with a brew. I
bench press canvas and climb explosions. GO HOME TEAM!
3. How would you describe what you do?
3.
I think anything and everything can and is funny. Dark, surreal, anti
humor, whateves. The more gnar gnar the more cray cray it is.
Sometimes the laugh track will pull his green arms out of nothingness
and ask for a coffee. He might laugh at what you think is the wrong
time, but maybe the laughing at cancer was a coping mechanism. Remember
I am a rape joke survivor.
4. How would you describe your creative progression over the years, in a brief synopsis?
4. I sucked, I
peaked, someone wrestled me over an abortion joke on stage, someone got
knocked out in front of me while I was on stage. I've been banned from
places, I've "killed it" and that it was my ego the time in Hollywood I
preformed on mushrooms. I met a guy with elephantiasis that night. His
hand was huge and that wasn't the shrooms making his hand that big. He
was a nice guy who is dead now. Graveyards are useless boxes of
sadness that could be converted to houses for the alcohomeless. I once
did stand up in a grave yard where the ghost booed me.
5. How would you describe your philosophy?
5.
My philosophy is have fun with life before you die. God thinks he
exist so hard he thought himself into existence and we can think him
out. Then we can stop god from letting millions starve, drown, and be
hurt. Make jokes about everything. Some people think jokes =
belilting. I think jokes can be made because it's on your mind and or
you care about it. People say certain things can't be funny. It's
funny racism is one of them. If something is profoundly ignorant how
can you not laugh and make fun of it? Who ever said scarecrows were
scary, a farmers hayfork could fuck that starfish extortionist apart
faster than a building that no plane hits without the mayor inside it
falls to the ground.
6. Do you believe in psychics, magic, ghosts, or gods? If no,
then maybe you'll share your favorite conspiracy theory (whether you
believe it or not).
6. I don't believe in any
of those things. I like proof. Things I even see and feel end up
turning to be fake. Like the lost love of a love that lost her love.
Let's just say that I did believe in those things. Here are my fake
beliefs.
Psychics - Last time I went to one,
her crystal ball was broken, it was only playing flashbacks. Then it
flashed forward straight to my funeral where people where spitting on my
corpes, to lube it up before my body gets lowered down. Is it too much
to ask for one lover to get in my coffin to be buried alive and be able
to fuck me until air runs out? Corps - a
main subdivision of an armed force in the field, consisting of two or
more divisions. kind of ironic that a huge percentage of them will
become individual corpes. No strings are hidden in this puppet show.
Magic
- If you can make a house of cards, put a card pool, a card hot tub,
and card dog in there. I will live there and you can saw in half any
card person in front of a card audience and I'll watch. I don't have a
house. Homeless jokes hit close to not home for me.
Ghost
- A ghost with an electrical outlet in his lower back who made my toast
calls it ghost toast and plays pranks. He puts the Virgin Mary in
toast to fuck with Christians. Come on what a wusspuss do Muhammad. Religious fanatics can't kill a ghost. If you kill a ghost he's an alive person again.
Gods
- I only believe in Muhammad the prophet of the Muslim faith. I saw
him on a piece of toast. He told me I could have a slave and a king for
the cost of 14 baseball players head aches. Sucka sucks, I would have
settled for an text anagram of the history of yourself.
7. What would you say was your most definitive experience?
7. DMT with a friend who is not alive anymore. Thanks a lot heroine.
Heroine - You are welcome, I'm glad I devoured that druggy
Me - I was being sarcastic, he showed me the other side of space where colorful creatures brought me on to their craft.
Also
a 7 year relationship I had with a woman I still loves, that doesn't
love me anymore. All I need is a basement to chain her up so she can
never get away again. I miss her.
Also I was
born in a full screen movie, when it transferred to widescreen I was
just a floating head for a year. All I could date was a jackolatern.
9. Would you care to name any theoretical "desert island" records,
or at least releases that you think are approaching your concept of
"perfect"?
9.
The screams of all the foster children that wonder why the icy hearted
masses chose to let more kids plop out of c section hole after c section
hole. I snuck a dog into a c section, when she gave birth to the dog
man it became big news, but it's just a regular old seeing eye dog with
human eyes. Hence why the day stalker wanted a new pet.
10. What is the earliest childhood memory you can (or are willing to) recall?
10.
Preschool, a bunch of kids hated me, bullied me, kids me, chased me,
threw sand at me, and I would get in trouble too for doing nothing. I
had one friend that joined them then started kicking me too. I ripped
the wing off a moth after that then cried a lot and my mother lied to me
telling me the moths mother would come give the mother new wings.
Maybe she believed it.
11. Are you able to appreciate other peoples' creative work
regardless of their personal shortcomings or inherent flaws? To what
extent?
11. Art and the human
are completely different. Lenny Bruce who was Jewish could like a nazis
art. The person can be terrible, the art could be good or terrible.
Some great people make shitty art too. Sculptures, made of human shit.
They are great for fucking the shit out of. The glass birds break
through the shit chest and shatter in the night skies.
12. Do you have any heroes or heroines
? Who are they? Feel free to add anything that makes them stand out.
12. Lenny Bruce, Vernon Chatman, Trey Parker, Psychedelic drugs, Poop, Schizophrenia.
13. What would you like to have on your epitaph? Or what is your favorite quote?
13. I won't have a grave because I'm going to die on the streets. If I did I would say everyone can laugh at my death because I think humor can be made ab out anything. Also I'm dead people can use my dead body anything. Sex food, make me into a backpack. Anything.